I recently had the honor of attending Tony Robbins’ Date With Destiny in Scottsdale. I’ve been a few times before, of course, but this time was a little different. Robbins presented some new content, that, well, just makes alot of sense and is also pretty amusing. At least to me…
Back in the day, we were all part of hunter-gatherer societies. The men were the hunters, the women were the gatherers. Men generally went out with a spear, or a club, took care of business, and drug the carcass back to the cave, and were done. Someone else dealt with it then. So men are wired to go out, solve a problem, take care of business, and be done. We do lots of things that way.
Women, being the gatherers, would go out into the meadows, find the ripe berries, roots, leaves, whatever, and bring them back to the cave. But then they also needed to share the information about where the berries were located with the other gatherers in the tribe; “Go out to the second meadow past the stream, by the big rock, and then there is this bush, about 30 paces past the little ant hill, and then you want the berries from the bush on the left, not the right, and be sure to get the ones that are just the right shade of red …” you get the idea.
So women are wired to go out and observe all sorts of things, and make sure they have every detail, and then bring the information back and share it with everyone.
In both cases, high degrees of each skill, male and female, related directly to the prosperity, and even survival, of the clan. The best hunters, the best gatherers, led to the strongest and most successful tribes. So, ladies and gents, we are genetically wired to be this way. Men are not hairy women, and women are not hairless men who can multitask. We are very different.
What does this mean — how can this information be useful today?
Gentlemen, how often does your woman come home and want to share every ridiculous detail of what she went through to find a parking place at the mall? And ladies, how often does your man communicate with you in monosyllables, how often, when you want to tell a story, is he searching for some point to it, when you have none? And how often does he yearn to just fix some problem you have? That’s what we do: Women give meadow reports and men want to fix problems.
Gentlemen, two things: The Meadow Report does not have any point; and, she doesn’t care whether you remember it or not. She needs to share it with you. You must listen to it, but she expects no action from you as a result (usually — your mileage may vary).
Ladies, we men sometimes forget that you are delivering a Meadow Report and we will try, in vain, to solve some problem we perceive you have; understand it is how we are wired. We are here to solve problems, break through, and have peace. We are not designed to listen. Your survival depended on listening and sharing; our survival depended on hunting down and killing things.
The vestiges of these behaviors still affect us today. Understanding a little more of why we do what we do (thank you Tony Robbins) can help us live happier, more understanding lives.