At the end of last year, I posted my thoughts from the most recent Tony Robbins seminar I attended. One of the wonderful people who also volunteers to help people at these events, has an even better writeup of Tony’s thoughts about suffering. Thanks to Heidi Bass. She wrote this for her Peak Strategy Mastermind group.
So one of the things I was pondering today is Tony Robbins teaching on why people are miserable, worry, and suffer vs. live in peace, joy, and gratitude. Why miserable people feel drawn to blame and talk about what’s wrong with other people and their lives, whereas grateful people talk about their dreams, desires, goals, and finding the gift and discovering growth through life’s challenges and problems. Problems and challenges we face are gifts that shape who we are. If we have no problems or I prefer to call them challenges as they can be overcome, we have no growth, we stagnate and die. If we blame others for what’s bad in our lives, then we also need to blame those same people for what’s good.
People are miserable, suffer, and worry when they focus on what is wrong in their lives as opposed to what is right. We suffer when we focus inward, solely on ourselves, it is all about us and what happens to us. We become victims of our circumstances and other people instead of agents of change. We harbor bitterness, unforgiveness, and sink deeper into discouragement and disappointment. Life is too short to suffer and worry all the time. Unforgiveness and bitterness only destroys us, eating away at our happiness and peace, it does nothing to the other person it is directed towards. Worry, never changes a situation, It is wasted energy, causing stress, eating away at our peace, and fact is 99% of what we worry about never comes to pass. Fear is (F)alse
(E)xpectations (A)ppearing (R)eal.
So we have to come to a decision–life is too short to suffer, worry is wasted energy, and you can’t suffer, be miserable, and worry when you are in a grateful, beautiful state. Only we can free ourselves from a miserable suffering state, there is no suffering except the suffering we induce. Being obsessed with ourselves instead of outwardly focused on love, growth, contribution, gratitude, leads to suffering.
In order to suffer/worry you have to focus solely on–
1. what’s wrong
2. what’s missing
3. what did we lose or never have.
Suffering usually comes from focusing on the past, versus believing in a compelling future.
So what’s the answer or antidote to suffering–make a decision today to live in a place of:
1. appreciation, enjoyment delight
2. looking for opportunities to learn and grow
3. finding something or someone to love and be grateful for
Suffering ends when we make a decision to delight in the process and find gratitude in the gift–no matter what the circumstances.
Suffering ends when we change our expectations to appreciation, we decide life happens for us, not to us, life is a gift–no matter what, and we chose to find the good in all people and love/forgive others in spite of negative experiences or bad behavior.
So here’s a challenge or resolve you can make to change your focus and choose to have a beautiful state no matter what–ask yourself daily–what are three things you are grateful for today? As you focus on these three things, put your hand on your heart and just say out loud for one minute–I’m sorry, I love you, please forgive me, thank you over and over again. Breathe deep and keep focusing on taking in the gratitude into your heart as you’re releasing forgiveness to others, yourself, and even God for things not going the way you had hoped or planned for your life!
This is a great way to start your day off right! You may be surprised how much more peace and joy you feel as you go through your day, how little you worry or feel fear, and how things that would have bothered you in the past, just seem like insignificant small stuff today!
As things come up–challenging your peace and joy–make a decision to find the gift or growth opportunity in the moment, and if you find yourself slipping into a place of worry, suffering, or fear–look up at the ceiling with a huge grin on your face and laugh at your circumstances it is impossible to worry or suffer in this state.
Finally, if all else fails–put on some wild and crazy music and dance for three minutes like there is no tomorrow!!!